file under: stuff your husband’s parents, 82-year old grandmother, and the rest of the Harvard Club’s Sunday morning diners probably didn’t expect to hear over eggs benedict
October 21, 2012

“Did you think it was bad when I said that I knew¬†I looked like a whore in my short-shorts and boots? I explained that I was only exposing that much thigh because none of my pants fit me anymore.”

“Um, I think it was worse when you used the word ‘blowjob’ during brunch. But that’s just me.”

In my defense: they all knew what they were signing up for long before April.