in which we continue our campaign for the worst parents ever award

Mother, after feeding puppy you’ve chosen to ignore in favor of an extra half hour of sleep: You know the scoop in Franny’s food is 1/3 cup right?

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1: Say wha?

Mother: The scoop. It’s only 1/3 cup.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1: But…that can’t be. We’ve been using it for months. And the puppy is…still extremely underweight.

Mother: (Blank stare.)

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1: Oh shit.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1, Frantically Texting Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #2: We Did It Again.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #2: Say wha?

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1: We’re under-feeding the puppy. The scoop is only 1/3 cup.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #2: No way. Not true.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1: It definitely is. She’s always hungry. We’ve doubled her meal portions three times. Even [vet student friend] said she’s too skinny.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #2: Measure it! Fill it with water and pour it into another cup! I don’t believe it!

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1: Oh shit.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #2: What?

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #1: We already did that. Remember? Because the label was kind of scratched off? We measured it against another 1/2 cup….and that 1/2 cup was, um, too big, in our dog-starving opinion. So we decided the bigger one was mis-marked? I…I don’t know why. That seems like the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Not Fit To Raise A Puppy #2: Oh shit. Go apologize to Francine. And give her some more food, for chrissakes.

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