OK, so I understand that reality TV generally doesn’t attract the smartest, most capable individuals. I know what I signed up for when I started watching the Bachelor last year: crap, and sparkly dresses. But this season has taken it to a whole new level. These girls are actually idiots. Seriously. Here’s a sampling of the professions represented in the first 25 contestants:
- swimsuit model
- spokesmodel (what does this even mean?)
- fit model (ditto…aren’t all models, by definition, fit?)
- model/makeup artist (diversifying her skills!)
- NBA dancer
- wardrobe consultant
- homemaker (seriously? you’re single, with no kids. you have no home to make.)
- dance teacher
The winners among this brainy bunch performed the following stunts to get our bachelor’s attention: asked to feel his abs, asked him to flip a two-headed coin to determine if she should stay, told him there was something on his tie and then bopped him on the chin, dressed up in a skimpy flight attendant’s uniform, and asked if his guns were registered. Good god.
Is it just me, or in past seasons didn’t they humor us by throwing in a few blondes in “sales” or “marketing?” I know this still means they went to community college and were living off their parents but please, ABC, humor me. Lie to me.
The rising stupidity levels of the contestants also seem to correspond to an increase in the number of girls with fake boobs. I will admit, however, that this observation could be skewed by the fact that I’m forced to watch the show with a boy for the first time, and he feels a need to point out all the surgical enhancements he spots. The funniest part is that he pretends like he’s focused on his work but then somehow is able to spot every single silicone bag that struts across the scene. The kid has a sixth sense for fake tits.
That’s my bachelor!